Now that Obama supports gay marriage I think me and Hillary can finally get married.
After I stopped eating pink slime my johnson grew this big!
It’s true…Michelle’s butt is this wide!
“Like throwing a hot dog an empty hallway? No, man, I’m telling you, it’s more like this. I have to strap a two-by-four to my ass every time Hillary wants to get intimate.”
Yes, it’s true! Monica is now this big.
. . . and they just offered me this big bucks CIO job at JP Morgan Chase.
Really David…Obama’s nose should be this long by now!
It’s true! Obama’s story is one big fat fairy tale!
Al? Golly, last time I saw him, his @ss was at least this wide.
“I said, ‘Forget it, Al. There aren’t enough dumb fV<ks in the USA who would buy your global warming crap.' I was SO wrong!"
My golf game is just like my sex game, David. If my ball gets this close to a hole, it’s a gimme.
“My misstatements were small, his lies are enormous”
“…and I heard Obama singing, ‘I got the whole world in my hands.’ No lie, dude.”
“The debt was only this big when I was President.”
I mean, golly! Compared to a little perjury, what HE’s doing is huge!
Doncha love it?! With Barry’s evolution, I’m still the first and only black president.
“Her ass was that wide, but I hit it anyway… because I could.”
Monica just made me feel this big!
“That’s how Hillary & I met, we were both dating the same woman!”
Ask any intern in Arkansas how big!
And I said to her, “Hell no I don’t mind if you go into Afghanistan, I can’t hold my wife back from a successful career”
I mean, come on, What’s a few interns among friends!
It was a true miracle Hillary didn’t catch us, I mean the opening under my desk was only this big!
“Honestly, if Obama was Pinocchio his nose would be this long by now!”
I told Hillary, ‘Give me a break! I haven’t lost any nuclear codes since I left office.’
This is my definition of IS.
You see the bigger the lie the more eager stupid liberals are to believe it…
I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN – WILL YOU?`
Damn I can’t belive Barry out spent me by so much!
This interview is interuping my favorite putt.
So I told Barry – “your economic plan will take some serious cigars”.
“It’s always been only about the putter!”
Sure, we know global warming is bullsh*t, but we’re Democrats, so facts, jobs and national security are irrelevant.
O’bama’s an amateur.. I’m the one with the big stick!
When I tried to hug Michelle, this is as far as my arms would get around her… Hysterical!
He has a Nobel and I’m a Rhodes scholar but we but blew the presidency-me literally!
So, I pulled out this huge cigar….”
“So when I met Mrs. Obama…”
“Hey, the world’s gonna end this year, I plan on banging as many women as I can!”
“Jobs? Who cares about jobs? Look at me, I haven’t had a real job in my entire life!”
How bout a hug?
Prick and Proud of it. Bill “I was born this way!”
“…so there I was, just standing there, laughing my barack off…”
“And I said, No, no Michelle, I don’t want a hug – I was measuring the size of your butt!”
“I’m Bill Clinton and I approve this wopper!”
“I was once the liar-in-Chief, now we hired a Kenyan to do that, David. Thats a plank in the democratic party”
Hurry up David, I gotta take a Barry, my Michelle itches too.
“Has it been difficult for me with Hillary away, traveling all over the globe? Are you kidding me, David? ‘When the cat’s away, the mice will play’! Ha,ha,ha,ha!”
“… so if that Tomahawk missile had exploded a yard closer to Bin Ladin’s camp in ’98, I’d be in the catbird seat instead of that arrogant jackass!”
This is as close to the truth as I have ever gotten.
she was so repulsive, this is as close as I could get to hugging her!
“That ‘DNA’ spot on Monica’s blue dress was about this big!”
“For my next job, I want to intern at Dollywood!”
I can’t help but be the best democrat, look at what’s left, Obama & Carter.
“…so I’m standin there, spread-eagled in front of the x-ray booth, and I tell the TSA agent,’Hey, I bet these pics could get over a million hits on YouTube tonight!’ Ha ha ha ha ha!”
Bill defines IS.
“No I’m not worried about how history will judge me. Carter was ahead of me and Obama is behind me. What’s to worry about?”
It used to be this big after Viagra
The cop pulled me over and told me to assume the position. I said I was president Clinton. He said, “That’s OK just don’t get any stains on my uniform!”
“…and now with Obama being such a screw-up, my chances of leaving a decent legacy are about THIS BIG