Look Bill! If you want to sit behind me stop callin’ me ‘the worst’ President evah!!
You see, now the colored guy makes us look like geniuses.
Dumb and Dumber.
For the last time Bill, stop calling me Peanut!
Well, we HAVE to let him join our club, but can you imagine what’s gonna happen when Michelle tries to push Rosalynn and Hillary around?
You think Mitt will make Michelle his Secretary of State?
One president sucked more than most, the other….well, you know.
Ha, ha! I still have the key to the oval office bathroom!
You call me Mr. President first, then I’ll call you Mr. President.
hey Bill, I’m not offically the worst president any more. He’s got us both beat.
“Bill, even I could win an election against this marxist clown.”
“I tried, Bill, I really tried but I couldn’t find one girl that would smoke my cigar!!”
I don’t have any more peanuts but I can give you some malaise.
Now who’s laughing at who, Bill?! I told you the Negro was a good idea!
Would you mind if I borrow that cigar, Bill? Kim Jong Il’s woman is on the prowl!!
Clinton lends an ear to the FORMER worst President in US history.
I know what you think about cigars, but have you ever tried a peanut?
Time out… So what did YOU actually mean by “Sexual Relations”?
“Bill, for the last time, stay away from Rosalynn and Amy.”
Can you believe it? We’re not the worst presidents ever!
“You did WHAT on mah sofa?”
Bill, I swear, I got Ahmadinejad’s WORD that he won’t make nuclear weapons if we get Barry re-elected. You IN?
Young man, I’d put you over my lap and spank you right now if I knew you wouldn’t like it so much.
Jimmy, you old hound dog! I found your stash! Real good sin semilla!
Bill, remember how bad the times were when I was president? Obama is making me miss those.
Listen, us good ol boys gotta stick together. How about we revive the confederacy?
You tell Condi to stop laughing at me or I’m comin’ back there!!!
Here’s my plan, Bill. We will, and, uh, we, er, what was I talking about?
“Bill, I swear, honest,,,I saw a UFO, it was shaped like a CIGAR but you’ll NEVER believe where it was!!”
“Bill, that black boy makes me look like a genius.”
“Now listen, my record of dealing with terrorists was no where near as bad as yours.”
Listen to me, Bill. Reagan makes us look so bad not even Obama can make us look good.
We’ve got to find a way to save communism.
When I die, don’t let that damn telepromter give my eulogy.
One person short of a very bad 3 Stooges movie.
“Look Bill, I had God on my side but what I really needed was George Soros.”
“So, Bill, how do feel about Obama, the second black President?”
“Yes, Bill, I DID see a UFO: Ungodly Fallacious Obama!”
“Bill, you had eight years of philandering and I took a four year nap! I think we were AMAZING Presidents!”
“Ok, Bill, explain to me again how you DIDN’T have sex with that woman and I’ll show you my peanuts!”
“This clown makes me look conservative. Do you think it’s to late to run on the Republican ticket?”
you shouldda took that dress to the cleaners Bill!
Listen, we both know the launch codes. Let’s get something started.
“Uh, excuse me, who are you again?”
Nasty and Nutty
“Jeeze, Bill, compared to Obama, I’m just an old peanut farmer.”
“Bill, come on. We can run together on the Peanut Party! We’ll Promise to put peanuts on every table, peanuts in every gas tank, peanut milk for the babies! I’m just full of PeaNutty ideas, Bill. What ya think?”
“Look, Bill, my peanut brain and your sex on the brain doesn’t even compare to Obama who has SH*T for brains!”
“You’re right, Bill, that IS me in the Mr. Peanut costume singing and dancing in TV commercials. Now that Obama took my spot as “worst President ever”, I’ve been getting LOTS of gigs!”
We promoted socialism too. Hope Obama shares the credit.
Please Bill…Give me Monica’s number before I check out to the Great Peanut Farm.
When I die keep the Playboy interview out of it.
We’re here to bury Ford. Don’t let them take me away by mistake.
At least YOUR wife has a job. All Rosalynn does is nag me, like the Reagan Revolution was my fault.
Hey Bill, I hear there may be a job open at NBC News. You think Chelsea could hook Amy up with an interview?
How come when Obama talks about all of the country’s problems, he looks at us?
“I’m tellin’ ya, Bill. This guy Obama is the best thing to ever happen to me!”
“I’m telling you, you and I are exempt from Obamacare.”
I don’t care what you say Jimmy, you are the peanut in the turd of life.
So, two black guys walk into a bar…
I said, Tell her to get rid of that paper with the damn Cross on it!
Kick my chair one more time and I’ll impose sanctions.
No doubt about it, he is worse than both of us!
Bill, we know Obama is a moron, but if we get rid of him, we have Biden
Bill, I like Obama. Now Im not the worst President ever
Bill, Fidel says we can come on down if we need a place to hide out, I’ve got it all set up.
When Obama loses the election, I’ve got a peanut farm he can work at.
Hey, I may be the worse president,but, at least k wife’s ass is not the size of a Mack truck!
Meeting of the “minds”
“This is Ford’s funeral, Bill, and you know it. Quit telling people I died in office.”
“For the last time, Bill, no matter what people say, I did’t die in office. This is Ford’s funeral.”
Look, Jimmy, when they say Mr. President they’re talking about me. Two terms outrank one.
Carter: There are three colored guys in a car. Who’s driving?
Clinton: I don’t know.
Carter: The sheriff! Ha, ha, ha, cough, wheez…
Carter: After that helicopter blew up in Iran they started calling me Jimmy Crater. I knew then I was going to be a one term president.
That’s why Hillary has to run. If Barack is re-elected, I remain stuck with this “worst president ever” title.
When the Obamas leave the White House their Habitat for Humanity home will be move-in ready.
“Barry told me that he’d expand Habitat for Humanity to Iran and I could be in charge. I’d like another shot at doing something right in Iran.”
I REALLY didn’t appreciate that “Now I’m not worse than Carter” comment you made on Demwits last month.
If I win that award for “Worst Free World Leader of the Last Century”, you ARE coming up there with me.
“I heard they’re saying I’ll be pushing up peanuts before Bush 1. What have you heard?”
“Bill, do you know why everyone says I have peanut butter for brains?”
“Bill,if you’ll be my friend, I’ll give you all the peanuts you can eat.”
“Bill, you play the Saxophone and I’ll dance around wearing my Mr. Peanut costume! I KNOW we can make some serious money as street performers!”
“Come on, Bill, we both need a job – you play the Sax and I’ll sell Peanuts! We can hit a new street corner everyday.”
I swear Jim, I thought it was bad having to listen to your ignorance all these years, can you imagine the crap that this idiot is going to be spewing for the next 30 years…